Coming to Terms

In a world of chaos, one of my favorite expressions is one that I picked up while staying at Dan's Gram's house.... "it is what it is." It sounds so simple but, frankly, sometimes it seems like something that has to be said. Maybe it serves as reassurance. Maybe it serves as a reminder. Maybe it's just a mantra. Still, it rings true over and over again.
I am a true-blue Virgo. I am critical and analytical. I want to make clear that the "critical" I'm referring to is the meaning "adj: characterized by careful evaluation and judgement" and not "tendency to find errors or flaws." I'm not looking for people to fail or critiquing them; I am fascinated by the psychology of why people do the things they do. I want desperately to understand why people think and do the things that they do. Most of the time, though, there is no explanation.
I believe that the five stages of grief stand true to most, if not all, big decisions/situations: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. It is true of grieving a loved one but it also true of a big move, marital change (remarriage/divorce/widowing), and sometimes friendships. When you get to the last phase (acceptance), this is when the "it is what it is" policy comes into play normally. However, I have found that it is best to try to keep it somewhere in the back of my head through the whole process. I often pass through denial relatively quickly since I analyze things to death and seldom live in denial for very long but when I am there, I have to tell myself that it is what it is...the situation is not going to change if I avoid dealing with it. When I'm angry, I have to remember that it is what it is...being angry is only going to make me bitter and won't help the situation. When I'm bargaining, it's the hardest to use this because I have to realize that no matter what "it is", it's not going to change by me offering up anything. In depression, it becomes a mantra to help me move forward. Finally, in acceptance, it becomes a statement of fact in my own mind. It doesn't mean I don't care...it just means I accept it where it's at.
Another piece of advice that is definitely ringing true right now is "You can't control anyone's reactions but your own." This originally was spoken to me when I got upset that someone hated a gift that I worked really hard on. These words were spoken to me by my pastor's wife and they couldn't ring more true... It applied to my situation then but it also applies to nearly any situation where you're dealing with someone else. People are going to react how their emotions tell them to. You simply have to do your best with your resources and trust that it's enough.
I guess what it all comes down to is that all the "cleaning out" God's been doing in my life has me finally coming to terms with things that have been pushed to the back for a long time. Some of them I have put there intentionally because I just didn't know how to deal with them or because it wasn't the right timing. Truth be told, some of them were put there because it was overwhelming. Whatever the case, though, I am coming to terms with alot of different areas in my life right now and realizing that sometimes it is what it is rings more true moment to moment.