Coming to Terms

In a world of chaos, one of my favorite expressions is one that I picked up while staying at Dan's Gram's house.... "it is what it is." It sounds so simple but, frankly, sometimes it seems like something that has to be said. Maybe it serves as reassurance. Maybe it serves as a reminder. Maybe it's just a mantra. Still, it rings true over and over again.
I am a true-blue Virgo. I am critical and analytical. I want to make clear that the "critical" I'm referring to is the meaning "adj: characterized by careful evaluation and judgement" and not "tendency to find errors or flaws." I'm not looking for people to fail or critiquing them; I am fascinated by the psychology of why people do the things they do. I want desperately to understand why people think and do the things that they do. Most of the time, though, there is no explanation.
I believe that the five stages of grief stand true to most, if not all, big decisions/situations: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. It is true of grieving a loved one but it also true of a big move, marital change (remarriage/divorce/widowing), and sometimes friendships. When you get to the last phase (acceptance), this is when the "it is what it is" policy comes into play normally. However, I have found that it is best to try to keep it somewhere in the back of my head through the whole process. I often pass through denial relatively quickly since I analyze things to death and seldom live in denial for very long but when I am there, I have to tell myself that it is what it is...the situation is not going to change if I avoid dealing with it. When I'm angry, I have to remember that it is what it is...being angry is only going to make me bitter and won't help the situation. When I'm bargaining, it's the hardest to use this because I have to realize that no matter what "it is", it's not going to change by me offering up anything. In depression, it becomes a mantra to help me move forward. Finally, in acceptance, it becomes a statement of fact in my own mind. It doesn't mean I don't care...it just means I accept it where it's at.
Another piece of advice that is definitely ringing true right now is "You can't control anyone's reactions but your own." This originally was spoken to me when I got upset that someone hated a gift that I worked really hard on. These words were spoken to me by my pastor's wife and they couldn't ring more true... It applied to my situation then but it also applies to nearly any situation where you're dealing with someone else. People are going to react how their emotions tell them to. You simply have to do your best with your resources and trust that it's enough.
I guess what it all comes down to is that all the "cleaning out" God's been doing in my life has me finally coming to terms with things that have been pushed to the back for a long time. Some of them I have put there intentionally because I just didn't know how to deal with them or because it wasn't the right timing. Truth be told, some of them were put there because it was overwhelming. Whatever the case, though, I am coming to terms with alot of different areas in my life right now and realizing that sometimes it is what it is rings more true moment to moment.

Update at the end of the school year

Well it's the end of the 2009-2010 school year and I am unbelievably amazed at how grown these little ones are getting. Alyssa is finishing up third grade after scoring advanced in all areas of her MEAP (standardized testing) and just won her state cheer competition in Grand Rapids! She is getting further and further from cartoons and more and more into Wizards of Waverly Place and Hannah Montana...I can't imagine where we'll be five years from now...eek! It's hard to imagine her being in fourth grade in the fall or hitting the double digit ages in less than a year. Wow!
Anthony is finishing up first grade and doing amazing, as expected. He played soccer with his last year of U8 soccer (no goalies, 4 on 4) so we shall see how the fall goes. He's still emotionally charged and highly competitive but his anger management (crying when he doesn't win) is improving some. He scored alot this year and controlled the ball at most of the games for his team. His coach referred to him as one of the "strong players" on the team.
Daniel Andrew is finishing up kindergarten and doing great. He played his first season of soccer this spring on the same team as Anthony and improved with every game. He even scored a couple of goals. His focus is improving immensely and he had a great outlook on the field, for the most part. He loved his coach and worked really well for him.
Sydney learned to write her name by herself and is getting more interested in reading and writing. She is a little diva and sing songs everywhere she goes. She makes them up sometimes and then gets terribly embarrassed when you point it out to her. She's a giant flirt with alot of personality and LOVES to put on a show. I can foresee dance classes in her very near future...LOL
This summer is going to be filled with fun stuff. We're heading down to Georgia soon for a visit with friends and family. I'll be seeing the newest Twilight installment "Eclipse" with my adopted family (Mama B, Lizzy, Kristina, and Stephie) and we'll be hanging out alot with good friends and having some good times. Shortly after getting back, the family will be coming here for the reunion and then a little while later, it'll be off to Illinois to visit my newest nephew due any day now, Jack. I'm so excited! Then a couple of weeks later, back to school. I know it's gonna fly so we're making the best of it!

Alyssa's Cheer Competitions

Base of the pyramid on the right


Go Alyssa's Go!

Back row, middle

Second place win at Regionals in Warren

First Place Win at State in Grand Rapids!

Sports Pictures Spring 2010

My sweet kiddos

Alyssa-Cheerleading

Anthony-Soccer

Daniel Andrew-Soccer

Soccer-Spring 2010 (South Lyon Rec)

Easter Pics

Spring has sprung

Well the weather is, little by little, getting nicer here and you can feel spring in the air. It has been a very busy time. We made the most of our Spring Break from school with alot of activities.
On Good Friday, we went to the zoo (actually one of the most crowded days of the year) and enjoyed the beautiful weather and the animal experiences. It was an absolute blast getting to walk around and look at animals while they, too, were enjoying the weather. I gave the kids my old point and shoot camera to take turns with and they LOVED it. We went home and changed clothes before heading back to Good Friday service which was amazing.
Over Easter weekend, we colored eggs, tended to our seedlings, and packed for vacation. The kids and I went to church on Easter morning and enjoyed the beautiful service. Then we came home, opened some Easter goodies and played for a bit before heading to Mike and Sue's house for dinner and an egg hunt. Mike had a very elaborate hunt planned for the kids and I couldn't believe how awesome it really was.
Monday-Saturday was Illinois for myself and the kids. We spent time with my Dad and his fiance, Melissa. We spent time with my very best friend, Cari, as well as some other awesome friends, Elizabeth and Erika. We spent time with my grandparents. We enjoyed our time there and savored the small-town feel. I was amazed at how much the kids there have grown and at how "homey" that little town still feels to me.
Back again, we are in the grind moving forward every single day. Alyssa is in cheer and has a competition in May. The boys are starting soccer next week and we're looking at preschools for Sydney. We are looking at summer activities, vacations, and the like and wondering what else this year will bring. We re-potted our seedlings into bigger pots and we are now waiting and watching to see how they do. Spring has sprung and the excitement is in the air.